Who is Turbolazer?

It is common knowledge that Turbo Lazer was, perhaps, the titanic band of West Side Lethbridge in the mid to early-mid-late 2000's.  They rocked the paradigm that was a wasteland of pre-Lazer emptiness and desolation (figure 1).  "Hey Craig", "Lock up the Walnut", "He Shoots He Scores" and "Bad Feeling" need no further explanation to those that were there and not living under a rock.  Though tragically short-lived in an era of things that were short-lived, Turbo Lazer tread heavily on a landscape theretofor only smeared with sounds of an aseptic pablum.  

Figure 1. Turbo Lazer

 

Alas, abducted by aliens, the band was never heard from again.

Though life moved on and Turbo Lazer ceased and desisted, even on the North Side--where West Side hype is considered déclassé--there was lamentation.  But as decades passed, inexorably, the unambivalent élan of their sweet sound began decanting into a new form.  First slowly, then suddenly, these echos, held aloft as a mighty metaphoric and literal sword became a new more powerful commercial entity: Turbolazer Inc. (figure 2).  A complete metamorphasis of the band brand into the hockey and ringette stick company you see before you.

Figure 2.  Turbolazer

Turbolazer is scientifically and spiritually crafted to provide hockey and ringette sticks to people who want them.  Sticks which will reverberate with the same cardinal gravitas as their original inspiration.

Beginning with ringette, through careful trials of 3D printed tips using teenage family members with superhuman eyerolling and yelling, the Discovolante ringette tip was perfected.  Literally meaning "Disco volante", immediate bardown goals were the result.  Design laboratories were soon put in place and the coolest sticks ever produced were produced.  With 100% carbonifbre construction using both 24k and 18k carbon, these ARE the lightest ringette sticks ever made.  With a lighter stick, more energy goes into moving the ring for harder shots.  

Ok, anyway, this is getting too long.  After this hockey sticks were made.  They were awesome and even MORE were made.  It all snowballed form there and here we are (figure 3).  Enjoy!

Thanks Turbo Lazer,

Turbolazer

Figure 3. Turbolazer the film.